Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Plague has STRUCK!

It appears, that on this Eve of Halloween, the N1H1DoubleDoomvirusSwinepigflu has arrived on the Stonehill campus! Over a dozen cases have been reported thus far, and the trick'r treatin' by the neighboring little children has been canceled for the year. That's a major disappointment. Below, you can see the extent to which the plague has infected the campus grounds:

As you can see, The Plague has infiltrated almost every level of the campus' infrastructure, and it is estimated that a full 1/3 of the entire campus population will die as a result.Despite populare belief, the colors on the map do NOT correspond to the national threat alert level pushed by Homeland Security.

Here, as you can see in this artistic rendering of events earlier today in what I shall call 'Martin Square', anarchy reigns. I hear, currently, Lord Hopey-Change will be calling a Council of Czars to deal with the situation promptly and appropriately.



 In truth, those infected are safe at home, it's been raining the bee's knees outside all day, and I'm completely SOAKED. How to summarize my week? My best friend is infatuated in a ridiculous fashion to some girl I am convinced will hurt him, and my other best friend will be spending all Sunday with me. I'm wet, and a little tired, but I am happy. General Cadimus Orso of the 224th Boland Legion signing out.

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